V a n d a l i c i o u s;

Welcome to my life (:

Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning?
And who told the ocean you can only come this far?
And who showed the moon where to hide till evening?
Whose words alone can catch a falling star?
Well I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
All of creation testifies
This life within me cries
I know my Redeemer lives...

Monday, June 23, 2008

I recently finished reading a book titled "Escape", by Caroline Jessop.
In summary, it was about how a brave lady mustered courage to escape the polygamist cult.
Very inspiring and fascinating, and how very thought-provoking.

Sometimes I wish I had the courage to escape.
The pre-requisites of escaping are:
1. There is a serious and significant enough problem
2. There is a place to escape to

In any case, I do not fulfil both pre-requisites.
So the struggle goes on. 3 more years in school, and another 1000 years at home.

And, in the few coming weeks, I thought that everything was falling into place.
But just as quickly, everything fell out of place.
I'm learning virtually nil from work, am constantly on guard for fear of human explosives.
I'm always at the receiving end at home, even though it's none of my business, really.
Plus, my bestfriend's going away.

xx signed off at 2:35 PM

Friday, June 20, 2008

Recently, I feel like luck's been on my side.
Because I keep getting offered lifts!
This means bye bye bus fares, hello shopping! (cos I have excess cash for stuffs)
And to all the people who made it possible, eg Chris, Maria's Papa, Allen, Ches, Dad.

Thankew! (:

xx signed off at 1:28 AM

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

It's been 4 days since I started work at MYCG.. And I must say that it has been a joy.
Tiring nonetheless, but fulfilling! (:
Most importantly, I feel (and know for a fact) that my learning curve has been steep and I'm happy about it. I've been doing much market research, but I can't mention much here so as to protect the interests of the company.

The initial part was more tedious than I imagined it to be, but whoever said this would be easy? But, I know that this is something I'm passionate about, so I'm determined to focus, do it, and do it damn freaking well (:

Today, we attended a course on Motor Insurance held by AXA.. And also managed to meet some clients and agents, who formed part of my bosses' contacts. It was quite an eye-opening experience. Walking along Shenton way once again reaffirm my ideas of working in Shenton way when I graduate.

After the course, my boss fetched us for lunch in her spanking new SLK.. *envious*..
Haha.. and she told us to decide between having steak at Dempsey Rd, or Dim Sum at GoodWood Park Hotel.. Haha.. Anyway, we decided that she should call the shots (since she was going to be paying), so we ended up with the latter. Still good anyway, I regret not eating much of Dim Sum in HK last week!

So.. it's been quite a fulfilling work experience by far, and as I know that the next 2 months spent here will be very enlightening and satisfying. Let's hope it stays this way (:

I'm waiting for Chris to come by to fetch me from holland v, but he says he's going to be late. rawr.

xx signed off at 2:44 PM

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Whenever my dad goes overseas, either my sis or I will bunk in with my mom.
This time around, my sis's away in Manchester, so naturally I got the chance to sleep with her.
With a part of me re-living my childhood, and the other part of me as an adult, with a strong desire to fend for and protect this person who has given me life.

Just last night, I got into bed slightly after midnight, when I was done chatting on msn and facebook-ing. While tucking in, I realised how much my mom has aged. Sheer moonlight landed on her face, reflecting only random visible parts of her face. But even those couldn't hide the fact that my mom has aged. Quite a fair bit.
And, I felt guilty because I had a part to play.

Sometimes, I feel guilty about not helping around the house. It's not so much of being lazy and genuinely wanting to be a couch potato.
But I'm a known procrastinator, while my mom's the direct opposite.
So clashes are expected, and very common indeed.
I know my mom's love language is predominantly 'acts of service', in particular, housework..
I feel like there's a big part of me wanting to give, to show how much I love her, but the inertia is so great, it makes showing affection far beyond easy.

Last night, I ended up falling asleep thinking about how life would be like when my mom is no longer around.
And the thought scares me.
Many a times, for the things that we assume to be perpetually around, we take for granted.
Be it parents, siblings or bestfriends.
Because we assume they'll never leave us, that's why it hits us doubly hard when they finally do.
That's why their departure is always painful.
Because we take them for granted.

And, all these years, as much as I wish not to admit, I am guilty of taking my mom for granted.
For the dirty plates I refuse to wash, and filthy clothes that I occasionally fling around my room, and my rabbit's pent that has grown smelly but choose to ignore.
My mom has silently kept after me.
I'm aware, but I accept such acts of service, because I took it for granted.

So today, I decided to change.
Because, some thing won't be around forever.
And I wanna treasure her while I still have the chance to.
For a start, I mopped the floor and washed all the dirty dishes today.
It's not a great achievement, but at least I started.

xx signed off at 9:42 PM

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Today spells the ends of my Sem 2 final exams!
(which probably is the last exam in the WHOLE of Singapore)
*Cheers* *Cheers* *Cheers*

For some reasons, all feels too surreal.
Exams seem to have taken over my life,
and for that good one month,
my sole goal was to work towards exemplary results.
If anything, it felt like exams were never going to end.

Now that it finally has...
Where do I go from here?
and what do I do?

P/s: Darwin, Happy Birthday to youu! (:

xx signed off at 11:23 PM

Monday, April 28, 2008

I thought that if I worked at it, then all my effort could be translated into success.
Religiously attended all lessons.
Diligently completed tutorials.
So there are no obvious reasons for not doing well.
Hardwork = Good results?

I'm utterly defeated.
One down, 4 to go.

xx signed off at 9:03 PM

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Inspired by maria's blog entry.
I've been thinking hard about making money, too.
Not so much of striking it rich, but more of sustaining a constant level of high income.
And this equates to starting my own business.
I'm considering opening a Bakery (tapping on my mama's expertise), or maybe an online business. But, that's only what I have in mind. It certainly takes more than mere ideas to actualise such thoughts.

As it is, I'm currently preparing for my Sem 2 Final Examinations.
After which I will be officially declared a Year 2 Student! *beams*
I have come a long way.
Sometimes I look at my tuition kid (aka PangSai Face, who is in Primary 6 this year) and I feel abit sad for her, because she's merely into the intial phases of the education system.
What lies ahead are many major exams, countless exams, and the confusion phase that occurs during puberty. The good thing is, she doesn't know! So, ignorance can be bliss.

Anyway, I'm back to studying. Hopefully, a random part of my Management Sci module, or even my Biz Law module can inspire me to strike it rich in some unexplored areas (:
You know, it doesnt hurt to keep dreaming (:

xx signed off at 11:13 AM